Everlasting Bonds: Side Stories(NON-CANON)
by Xanedis
Summary: Funny mishaps that happen during the game's storyline, except that they are NON-CANON. This has varying viewpoints, and it is updated irregularly(or, rather, whenever I get cool ideas that don't fit anywhere else).
1. Revenge is sweet

**Off-topic:Because I can. Also, apparently, the music that I listen to changes my story around so much that I absolutely can't listen to funny music and try to write a serious piece. It just cannot be done. Not that it matters, cause this is the result. I DO RECOMMEND THAT YOU READ THE FIRST 5 CHAPTERS OF "Everlasting Bonds: Wings of Despair" FIRST! I have no idea how often I'll write these, but they are meant to be read as humor-fiction, and CANNOT BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. THEY ARE NOT PART OF CANON.**

**Thank you. Enjoy.**

* * *

**Everlasting bonds: Wings of despair(NON-CANON)**

_Side episode 1: Terrifying mistress of the soup kitchen_

It was becoming quickly apparent that their journey would become a boring one. Actually, that was true for every journey from someplace to somewhere. Still, Robin would have done away with the journeys, had he been able.

The Shepherds traveled as a line of units, along the highway; they were not created to skulk in the forests. But Robin wanted some variety. They had been on horseback nearly two weeks now, and his back was killing him. _Lucina will have another laugh at my expense_, he thought to himself. _She can be such a… _Brute? No, the she was too ladylike. Child? No, she had grown up in an unimaginable future, and survived it.

Robin's mind tried to desperately invent new insults, but nothing came to his mind, except words used in strategy and warfare. He was starting to think that those books were a bad influence for him. As dedicated student of warfare as he was, there had to be a limit on how many books he should try cram into his mind; not to mention the fact that he had not had a real conversation with anyone else than Lucina for a week. _Lesser man would be dead by now_, he thought grimly.

"We are stopping", Chrom shouted from the front, waving to signal the very words he spoke.

_It is going to be the deadliest supper in the whole world_, Robin thought sarcastically. _I only hope that Lucina will not kill me with her comebacks_

One could always dream_._

* * *

Apparently, dreams come true. Lucina was not feeling well, and had withdrawn to her quarters. Robin knew that it was horrible for him to feel so elated, but he could not resist the feeling; after all, he could have normal conversations again.

"So, Gaius", he said while they were sitting around a fire. Dozen such were around the landscape, as the Shepherds rarely ate in a big group. There were such occasions, Robin knew, but they were rare and occurred once in a couple of months. "I hear that your wife is doing better now", he said, waiting for Gaius's reaction. None came. "Uh… Gaius?"

"Mmn", the thief answered.

"Does that mean yes, or is it perhaps a definite no?" he asked curiously.

"Hmmhm."

"Blast it, you are no fun."

"Mmmnnnnnrghh… Ah… You know Brains, you should really wait till the people swallow their food", Gaius finally said, wiping his mouth with the end of his cloak.

"I will remember that the next time", the tactician promised. "So, Cordelia?"

"Fine."

"That's it?" he asked. Surely the man had something else to say.

"No. There is a problem", Gaius answered, shaking his head.

"I knew it! So, what is it about?"

"Well, Brains", Gaius said, "do you see that girl there? The one with orange hair?"

"I see her."

"She's mine", Gaius said bluntly. The tactician started to glare at his friend.

"You are cheating on your wife?" he hissed, feeling disgust and contempt toward his friend. He could not help it, the whole concept felt so wrong.

"Sweet mother of pies, no! Brains, she's my daughter!"

"Oh that is it… Wait, what?" This was now wrong on all possible levels. Firstly, it was enough that they had _one_ time-jumping specimen that had no regard for manners. But if there was another…

Robin felt like dying.

"Oy, Brains! You spilled your soup."

Robin gazed upon his plate. All that was left was a lick of soup. It would not be enough for a dog, let alone a grown man. At this rate he would have to ride hungry tomorrow.

Robin sighed. This was not his day.

"Could you not ask Sumia for a second portion?" Gaius asked him, trying to lift his spirits up.

"She will not give me anything", Robin said sullenly.

"You are the tactician, Brains. Surely she would give you something?"

"She would give me a piece of moldy bread and some rainwater. Seriously, Gaius, do you think that stature carries any meaning in the Shepherds?" Robin asked.

"Look, Brains, at least you could say that you tried."

Gaius's words had such irrefutable wisdom that the tactician found himself unwillingly walking towards Sumia. _Let this be a success, gods, and I will apologize even to Lucina,_ he prayed in his mind. _Not that I was wrong, mind you. It was she who dropped her dinner in the first place; I just gave a little… Alright, so I was wrong. I simply ask for some soup in exchange for reconciliation. You will never get such a good deal from me again, you hear?_

Sumia gave him a sidelong glance and muttered something. Robin could not hear what she said, but he felt such a presence from her that he stopped to his place, feeling sudden chills. There were stories about how Sumia treated the people that asked for a second helping; most of them included trees and ropes, and were very terrifying.

"Robin?" she asked, making the tactician feel like the dogs of war had been unleashed on him. But he had to continue; otherwise he would fall from horseback tomorrow.

"I came to…" he said, his teeth clattering to an almost comedic effect. "I came to…"

Sumia sighed. "You came to get seconds, yes?"

"Seconds. Yes. Good." _This is going well_, he congratulated himself, trying to ignore his own fear.

"None for you", she said. _Alright gods, you and me, we are officially done now,_ Robin thought angrily.

"Or you could do me a favor, and I will see to that you have enough food for tonight", she said and smiled. _How about some reconciliation action, hmm,_ Robin thought again, sparing no concern for the fact that normal people would consider him mad.

"What favor?" Robin asked, hoping that it would not be _too_ demanding. He still had to apologize to Lucina.

"Lucina is not feeling well", Sumia said to him, and from that moment Robin knew that this whole day had been rigged by someone for maximal pain. Someone out there was venting his issues at him, but he had no idea which one of the gods it would be. It had to be someone who had issues with smart men, or so Robin concluded.

"Someone needs to bring her some soup. I would ask Chrom to do it, but he is still scouting around the camp. So, one of you brave people needs to do it."

_Yes, I said I would reconcile with her, no, I did not mean IMMEDIATELY! _Then again, what choice did Robin have? It was either this, or hunger and tears during tomorrow's ride.

"I will do that", Robin said and could have sworn that he heard a drum roll cue his walk towards his doom.

* * *

Robin arrived to Lucina's tent. As he had no way to make sure whether she was fully clothed or not, he decided to play safe.

"Risen are upon us!" he yelled, careful to not do it so that others noticed. It would become such a pain if others rushed here, only to find him alone with Lucina. He could not face her ever again after that. Not that he wanted to, of course, but there were some definite tactical advantages to being able to talk to her.

As Lucina darted out from the tent he shouted after her: "Back to your tent! I just needed to check whether you were indecent or not!"

The Princess – as she was called by many – pierced Robin with her glare, and walked back to the tent. Robin followed her inside, and took a glance around. It was not that different from their tents; there was room on the ground for the bed, some tables and a chair. Nothing suspicious laid there, Lucina did not even have anything that would help her to pass time.

He thought about it for a moment.

"Why. Are. You. Here?"

What, was it not apparent enough?

He held the bowl towards her. "You mother told me to make you eat this."

She frowned at him, but proceeded to take the bowl nonetheless.

"How do you pass time?" Robin asked, curious to know about Lucina's daily habits. Maybe there was something there that he could flail at her face if she became obnoxious again.

"I train with the sword", she answered, gulping down the soup. Robin gazed at her, unable to believe his ears.

"All day long?" he asked. Lucina nodded at him, focusing only on her soup. "No wonder you are such a beast on the battlefield", he said, forgetting to keep his mouth shut. Lucina, however, was not bothered by it.

"I think the word you are looking for is _graceful_", she said rather conversationally. She was acting really strange.

"Yes, graceful. Do you have any other ways that you use to pass time?" Robin asked, trying to desperately find her weakness_._ He cared not for any kind of reconciliation anymore, only revenge.

"Hmm", she said, looking far away. Then she blinked. "I love stories."

"Reeaaaalllly? And of what kind, if I may ask?"

Now they were getting somewhere. It would only be a matter of time till he found her weakness, and then…

"Children's stories. Father used to tell me those when I was very little. Then he died", she said, finishing her plate.

_Alright, Lucina, that is just too sad,_ Robin thought. He felt… Wrong. Evil.

He was sure that if he continued this way there would be no return for him.

He could not do it. He would not betray a friend, betray Chrom.

And so he escaped the tent.

"Waaaaaait, you forgot the plate!" Lucina screamed after him, but the tactician could not hear it anymore.

* * *

Robin ran all the way back to the soup kitchen, huffing like tired dog.

Now he would finally receive his due pay. The tactician lifted his head up.

Sumia had _not_ disappeared anywhere, and stood there, gazing at him. Robin laughed. Whatever could happen to him now? He had made it out from the tiger's den.

"I did it Sumia", he said, huffing. "It is done. I gave her the soup."

"Good. Come here to get your second serving", she said, beckoning to him. "And remember, do not spill it."

"Yes ma'am!"

"Very good. You can sit over there", she said, pointing at the nearby stool.

Something nagged at Robin. Something about asking seconds.

"Oh, and Robin?" Sumia said, coiling rope around her arms. "Eat quickly."

His alarm bells started ringing. "What? Why? It is not the trees, is it?" he asked, terrified out of his wits.

"No, silly", she said and smiled. "I will simply tie up your feet and mount my pegasus."

* * *

After that day a saying was created among the Shepherds: _"Never anger the mistress of the soup kitchen, or you'll scream like the tactician did."_


	2. Once a cleric, always a magus

**Off-topic: Hey guys, it has been a while. I got this ready, it is about Lissa's marriage(and not the usual kind either). It became VERY FLUFFY, so be warned! Also, I might have... Overdone the romantic aspect. Maybe not, do tell when you have read it**

**About Everlasting bonds main story, I will be continuing it soon(ish)...(1-7 days?). I thank those people who have favorited the story and me, and I'll keep producing content for it. The last chapter wasn't as big a flop as I thought, certainly something that can be redeemed and even made better in the incoming chapters.**

**But, enjoy this. Unfortunately I didn't spell-check this, but overall quality should be pretty high. Also, I have some good news. You guys have heard me say that English is a hard language for me to write in because it is not my native tongue. Well guess what? I'm getting hang of it.**

**You'll see when you read this(I suppose?).**

**Enjoy.**

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**Everlasting bonds: Wings of despair(NON-CANON)**

_Side episode 2: Love it or hate it, but I'm the priest today_

* * *

Green-eyed monster had never ailed Lissa as much as when Maribelle clothed her into the pure white wedding gown. Other people, they would get to see Lon'qu in all of his glory - dressed in clothes that probably hardly fitted his sinewy physique - but Lissa had to stay here and prepare herself for the incoming wedding.

_My own wedding, _she thought silently as Maribelle bustled around her, tightening up the dress here and straightening up the laces there. The princess wondered whether all women felt the noose around their necks immediately before walking down the wedding aisle; she did, and she was marrying someone out of love.

_If only sister were here to see me today…_

"There!" Maribelle said stepping back and nodding to herself. "You look pulchritudinous, Lissa dear."

"Thanks", Lissa said, flashing a tight smile. She felt the anxiety grip her insides again, this time with greater intensity than before. Her smile changed into a frown that darkened her face. Maribelle noticed it and gave her an encouraging smile.

"You have no reason to worry", she said calmingly. "Lon'qu is a… decent man."

Lissa tugged her pigtail weakly, and sighed. "Right, so dreamy and strong…" she said, "Although less dreamy than when we met for the first time, but I'd still rather marry him than Vaike."

Lissa smirked as Maribelle blushed strongly in response.

"_I see you don't intend to let that one go"_, Maribelle muttered abashedly while shifting her eyes away.

"It's not my business who you marry, Maribelle", Lissa said, touching Maribelle's arm gently. "It's love after all, right?"

Maribelle nodded, gazing away from Lissa. The noblewoman became lost in her thoughts, which was hilarious considering that Lissa was almost late to her own wedding. Some lateness could always be forgiven, but if she tarried…

Yet Lissa's friend kept looking somewhere far away, making the princess wonder about things. What was Maribelle thinking about? Was it her approaching wedding? Or did Maribelle perhaps wonder about the children she would bear?

Smile crept on Lissa's lips; knowing both Maribelle and Vaike it was highly possible that their children would become crude persons, yet also people who possessed unimaginable inner beauty. Lissa did not know what kind of inner beauty, though. She suspected valiant characteristics and artistic understanding – latter from the child's mother - but could not say anything for sure.

Lissa _was_, however, already dying to meet her friend's progenies, but she pushed the thought far into the corners of her mind. Things like that took time, and even if Lissa wasn't a patient person – even in her own opinion – she knew that the eagerness to meet those people would not make her wait any easier.

She took a few steps about in her wedding gown, wondering how perfectly it fit her; yes, it was custom-tailored, but even then she felt like the dress had become a part of her. Like Lissa's staff it obeyed her movements softly, needing nothing more than small, instinctive movements of her hands and legs to follow her around effortlessly.

While Lissa moved about she addressed the rest of her worries – which included the fear of sitting on the wedding cake and stumbling on her face in the wedding gown like poor Sumia had done – by pushing them away and proceeded then to the door that led outside the room. She looked eagerly at Maribelle; the noblewoman batted her eyelids a few times - finally awakening from her oblivious state - and marched across the floor to Lissa. Then, after making sure that they had not forgotten anything, she opened the door.

As they moved through the corridors of Ylisse Palace Lissa noticed that she was actually ready to become eternally bound to her significant other. There was nothing, however, that she could do about the anxiousness that grated on her nerves, so Lissa resolved to grin and bear it; or in her case, _smile_ and bear it. Grinning would have been far too obnoxious.

White marble walls of Ylisse palace went past Lissa who was walking in almost a daze, not knowing what to expect from this day. She knew only one thing, this had been her dream from her childhood; to marry someone - noble or not - out of her own choice, without a need to worry that the person she married was only after status and power. She had succeeded; only thing Lon'qu wanted to do - in his own grumpy way - was to make sure that Lissa was happy and ensure her safety along the way. What else could Lissa possibly hope for?

_A successful wedding_, she thought worriedly; the wedding of Chrom and Sumia had been a minor catastrophe, because the bride was the single most clumsy person in the whole realm, possibly even the whole continent. _Well,_ _at least she wasn't serving the dishes, _Lissa thought in relief.

The palace corridors had led her and Maribelle to their destination; in front of them stood now two black ebony doors – in a very stark contrast to the rest of the white marble palace - open and leading to the grand ballroom of Ylisse Palace. A curious choice of an escort waited for them there, ready to take Lissa into the hall and lead her to the altar; it was no other than Chrom himself. After all, he and Lissa had no father anymore, and even if they had, the past Exalt of Ylisse would have hardly been the person to be allowed to escort the princess to her future husband.

Chrom nodded to them both. "I'll take it from here, Maribelle", he said in a soft, quiet manner appropriate for the occasion. The noblewoman curtsied and said her final words to Lissa: "I wish you joy beyond any that you have had till now."

After Maribelle's words Lissa took hold of her brother's arm and let herself be led down the wedding aisle to the grand hall full of silent people and ethereally floating music. Familiar people were looking at her while she walked slowly and decisively towards her future husband, the Feroxi swordsman known as Lon'qu.

In the short moment that felt like a sliver of infinity memories flooded through Lissa; she remembered meeting the swordsman for the first time, his awkwardness around her and the distance that he always kept to her. Lon'qu had considered Lissa to be a person among others, one without any other defining characteristics than her womanhood which the swordsman considered a threat to himself.

Then Lissa had become Lon'qu's responsibility; Chrom had found no one else suitable to guard her sister so the Feroxi swordsman had been assigned to be Lissa's bodyguard. Awkwardness and difficulties in communication had ensued – partly because Lon'qu kept so much distance that Lissa had to shout to converse with him - but even then something had happened between the two. Lissa wasn't able to pinpoint the exact moment when Lon'qu was unable to turn his eyes away from her, but when that time came she knew who she would be spending the rest of her life with.

"_Lissa", _Chrom whispered softly, causing the princess to bat her eyelids in surprise. It was somewhat inappropriate to speak while walking through the wedding aisle.

"You shouldn't talk", Lissa said softly, careful to not let her voice be heard by other people. She stole a glance to the altar from beneath her veil. Lon'qu was standing there, eyes fixed on her, patiently waiting like he had all the time in the world.

"I need to inform you of this", Chrom said softly yet sternly. "I received a request that I could not turn down, given the Feroxi nature of Lon'qu. The priest will be replaced by a Feroxi man."

"That doesn't matter", Lissa answered firmly. "Priest or no priest, I _will_ get married today."

"That's good then", Chrom said in relief, "Because that man isn't exactly a priest."

Lissa shrugged her shoulders and took a quick glance to her left, finding the tactician sitting there and staring at her while rubbing at his temples. He gave a terse nod, and resumed to his frowning.

"Why's Robin like that?" she asked as they closed upon Lon'qu and the altar. She slowed down a little, preparing herself for what was to come.

Chrom slowed his pace as well and gave her a playful smile. "You shouldn't speak of other men while walking down the aisle", he said.

"You were the first one to talk about other men", Lissa retorted, resuming to her normal pace and ready to face her future husband.

The attire Lon'qu wore was not as uncomfortable as Lissa had imagined. It seemed to be yet another thing designed for battle, but something about it seemed a little off; Lon'qu's clothes were pitch black, easily distinguishable on the battlefield and thus hardly fitting for that purpose.

_Some kind of ceremonial garb,_ Lissa presumed.

Then she was there, near her future husband, ready to be married.

"Remember this, Lissa", Chrom said while handing her off to Lon'qu, "The Feroxi man is allowed to keep his hood up. In fact, I requested it of him; otherwise people would start to ask questions."

"I suppose you trust him to not slit my throat at any opportune moment, then", Lissa said softly. Chrom nodded and turned to leave, but his sister caught his arm one more time, giving Lon'qu a quick, apologetic glance. "Thanks... for looking after me, always."

Chrom smile turned into a warm and loving one. "Anytime, dear sister. Anytime."

He walked away from Lissa and sat down near Sumia, in front of Robin. Lissa could see the tactician lean towards Chrom, but she could not hear what he said. She didn't really care either, because after turning around there stood a man that meant the world to her.

Music slowly stopped, having reached its climax beforehand. The crowd was – if possible – even more silent than before.

Heavy steps sounded as a heavy-built man in grey robes approached Lissa and Lon'qu from the side, finally stopping in front of them. He held a piece of paper in his hand, lifting it up so that he could read it.

That was when Lissa noticed that the hood of the man's robe was so low that his face could hardly be seen. Then again, Chrom had warned her about it, but it brought some anxiety. Before Lissa even noticed she had grabbed Lon'qu's hand, and was gripping it slightly. The Feroxi warrior gave her a reassuring nod, and Lissa flashed a grateful smile back.

The heavy-built man cleared his throat, and began to read from the paper.

"Today, in… front of these witnesses we… have come to…"

The man leaned forward towards the paper, as if he had bad eyesight. Lissa heard him mutter something, but could not make out what was said. The crowd murmured softly, probably in response to the strange man's actions.

"Join these two in holy matrimony…"

Then the man crumbled the paper and threw it over his shoulder, and Lissa heard a pained moan from the crowd. Apparently the speech had been designed by Frederick, and that didn't surprise Lissa one bit.

This man's actions did come off strange to her, though.

"No, we have not", the man said bluntly and Lissa heard a sharp voice say _I told you, Chrom, I told you._

"We'll do this whole thing the Feroxi way!" the man bellowed, and Lissa felt Lon'qu jerk at her arm's end. Lissa herself frowned sharply; the man's voice was distinctly familiar.

"These two have been proven as valiant warriors and fine examples of Feroxi pride!" the man continued. "Although the little one still seems a little scrawny", he marked off-handedly, earning more than a few surprised cries from the crowd.

Lissa was starting to get the gist of her predicament. She had recognized the voice of the man.

"Now, in this joining there are vows and promises that are to be held, no matter what. Do you two acknowledge that?"

"We acknowledge it", Lon'qu stated seriously. Then he gave Lissa the _just-follow-my-lead_ look.

"We… acknowledge it", Lissa said with a shaking voice, unsure where this whole thing was going. Apparently Lon'qu was familiar with it though, whatever it was. It was probably something that Feroxi did when marrying people, whatever their concept of marriage really was.

"Do you swear to fight back to back against swarms of the enemy till the tide of battle claims you both?"

"We swear", Lon'qu answered, and Lissa followed his lead. She may have not exactly liked the man's choice of words, but she was keen on getting married.

She swore to get Chrom after the ceremony, though.

"Together?" the man asked them both.

This time their answer came in unison.

_"Together."_

The man grunted in acceptance. "Then I pronounce you swordsman and…"

The man stopped, and leaned closer to Lissa. "You are a cleric, no?" he asked with a serious voice. "I need something little more offensive here. Would you become a pegasus rider?"

"No!" Lissa hissed to him. "I am too frail for that kind of stuff!"

"Whatever I pronounce now will bind you for the rest of your life", the man stated solemnly, which was unlike his usually cheery attitude. "Such is the Feroxi way."

Lissa thought about it while the crowd murmured. She didn't really want to cast away her clerical ways, yet she was ready to pay the price to marry Lon'qu.

"Fine, Basilio", Lissa said to the man, "I'll learn magic. That's offensive, right?"

"That's just fine", the man answered and nodded. Then Basilio took his robe off, revealing his weather-beaten muscles from beneath. The robe was slung over his shoulder, and the crowd murmured nervously.

"I, as the West-Khan of Regna Ferox", he said with a booming voice that echoed inside the hall like no other voice had ever before, "Pronounce you swordsman and magus, and deem you to watch each other's backs as long as you live."

_I guess that works, _Lissa thought sullenly. She decided to request quick magic lessons from Robin and then trash Chrom for ruining her wedding.


End file.
